This Mother’s Day Hidden Shelf authors share stories of their mothers, grandmothers, and mother figures in their books. 

Near my computer, I have a photo that still haunts me. It is my muse. A photograph of my grandmother, so young, holding an infant wearing a bib that reads “Mama’s Liebling.” Her face is a blank stare. It begs questions. What happened? Where was the photo taken? When was the picture taken? Who made the bib and embroidered it so lovingly? Who is Mama’s Darling?

Why didn’t I ask my grandmother about that photo? Was it because rresearching brings out questions you don’t want answered?That bib was hiding a story. 

One day, my mom and her sister cleaned out my elderly grandparents’ apartment and found a treasure in the hall closet—the same article of clothing in the photograph. I would learn the picture of my grandmother and the baby had been taken just after their1929 escape from Russia, after their second son had died of measles, seven days after the birth of their third son. But there is something not revealed in the photograph: in order to flee, my grandfather and grandmother had just left behind their firstborn three-and-a-half-year old son Kolya.

As I watch what is happening in Ukraine, I am traumatized because I see how history repeats itself. Mothers and children fleeing and saying goodbye to their husbands, brothers, fathers. They have to make horrific and unbelievable choices. What is left of their family? Homeland? Culture?  What remnants do they cling to? The bib, a remnant from Russia, had been safely preserved for over fifty years and Grandma decided I should have it. Maybe it was because I had listened to Grandpa’s stories and recorded them for the family. That she knew I was working on a book that would tell their story. Maybe she knew that I understood the connection between the photograph and the bib so lovingly embroidered years before. Maybe she wanted me to understand the Mama and the little boy left behind. That I needed to.  Maybe she knew it was the only thing I wanted —just a little piece of the past, the present, and maybe my future. That it was all part of my story, too.

Two years after their escape, Kolya was retrieved and reunited with his mother, the most important remnant. I have the privilege and perspective, not only as her granddaughter, but as a wife and mother, to write about Lena Siemens, a woman with such strength and dignity in the face of unbelievable tragedy.

-Ann Marie Stewart, Christy award winning author of Stars in the Grass, and Out of the Water, is just finishing the memoir REMNANTS about her grandparents’ 1929 escape from Russia.

Is Doris in Back to One based on my mom?  Possibly … her strength and determination. 

I think many people believe their mother is the most beautiful and wisest person alive.  I certainly did.  But my mother, a professional singer who performed with the likes of Tony Bennett and Nat King Cole, was genuinely drop-dead gorgeous.  A bit intimidating to an awkward teenage daughter who wasn’t sure how she fit into her entertainment family.

I loved my show biz parents, and I relished watching them perform in front of a vast audience, their faces coming alive with vitality, charm, and a youthful glow even into their golden years.  For Mom, being able to sing and entertain her audience was the meaning of life.  It was not an easy road for her.  At the age of fourteen, there were many closed doors and difficult choices.  The biggest was not extending her contract as the “girl singer” on a national variety show moving from Chicago to Los Angeles.  It happened on the road to try-out Los Angeles as a new home base; my mom discovered Phoenix and decided to plant down roots in Arizona for the kids instead of becoming a celebrity.  Ultimately, my mother, Toni Rami, would be happy being a big fish in a little pond.  She was an Arizona celebrity, but I always wondered if she’d mull over that choice late at night and had regrets.  

Her album, The Toni Touch, was an excellent showcase of her talent, So I’m blessed to hear my departed mother’s incredible singing voice preserved for all time.

On this Mother’s Day, I honor the woman who encouraged the creativity within me.

-Antonia Gavrihel, Back to One. Looks for the second book in the series, Ambient Light coming this fall!